Dating someone who has lost a child
Initially, I put "prefer not to say" and wondered why I got very little response.Then a friend pointed out that it came across as cagey and a cover for cheating spouses, of which apparently there are many online.It was also impossible for me to resist thinking ahead – would they get on with my children?And do I really want any more children, considering how a baby could impact on my children's world, which has already been turned upside down?Then there were the high expectations – women writing that they were looking for a "knight in shining armour" (I'll get my sword and shield), "Mr Darcy" (I'll get my top hat and tails), "Mr Grey" (I'll get my riding crop and restraints). If they didn't want kids, then why would they take on mine?
Online dating was about as stigmatised as putting an ad in the lonely hearts column of the local paper, but from conversations with friends, it was clear that this was the way to go now.
And this is exactly what I didn't want, and indeed an issue my wife raised towards the end of her life.